13 Ways To Annoy Organization XIII
by Jinzouningen
Summary: Each chapter will be 13 ways to get on an O.13 member's nerves! Enjoy!
1. 13 Ways To Annoy Xemnas

AN:

JK: Okay, overly done, I know. But, I couldn't resist!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Annoy Xemnas-

1. Run around his office screaming and giggling like you're insane

2. Ask Demyx to play his sitar outside of his office while he's working

3. Replace his newspaper with Xaldin's magazine

4. When he's in sitting in his favorite chair, run over to him and say Saix desperately needs him. When he leaves, steal the chair

5. Meow at him when he walks down the hallway

6. Spray-paint his room pink and blame Marluxia

7. During a meeting, wave your hand in the air screaming, 'Pick me! Pick me!' When he calls on you, say, 'I forgot.'

8. Wait for him to start drinking his coffee in the morning and then state casually, but loudly, 'You know, you and Saix make a great couple.'

9. Sit on his desk and stare at him with wide eyes for two hours

10. Put a rabid weasel in his desk and blame Demyx

11. Play Karaoke Revolution when he's trying to work. Sing loudly and off-key

12. Steal everyone's weapons and hide them under his bed

13.At ungodly hours of the night, call his name frantically and insist that he come quickly. When he DOES come, ask him if he slept well.

-Xemnas's Reaction-

Xemnas stared at the list before him and twitched in horror. One of his Organization members put it up, and when he found out whom they would pay dearly...

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AN:

JK: Heh, heh. I know, I know. Overdone. But, I couldn't resist! Next is the Freeshooter!


	2. 13 Ways To Make Xigbar Shoot You

AN:

JK: Time to make our favorite Freeshooter shoot you in the head!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Xigbar Shoot You

1. Steal all of his ammo

2. When he's in target practice, scream loudly in his ear at random times

3. Pull on his ponytail and say, 'Ding-Dong'

4. When he's in the shower, steal his eyepatch and wear it

5. Dye his hair hot pink

6. Tell him that you have a message from Marluxia. When he asks what it is, hug him tightly and say, 'I love you, Xig-Xag!'

7. Clog his guns so they backfire in his face

8. Hit him with a wet noodle everytime he says 'As if'

9. Follow him around the castle and poke him every five seconds saying something stupid like 'Ferbdoodle'

10. Tell him the anagram of HIS name...

11. Refuse to call him anything else other then that name

12. Steal his ponytail holders

13. Mimic him in his own annoying surfer voice

-Xigbar's Reaction-

Xigbar felt a vein pulsating in his forehead. Someone taped this stupid list to his door, and he would shoot whoever it was. They'd be shot DEAD.

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AN:

JK: Muahahaha...Next, it's Xaldin! About the last one, I actually like Xig's voice, it just drives my mother crazy... Oh, yeah. The anagram, in case you haven't picked it up, is (Car zooms by because we want to see if you can figure it out!)


	3. 13 Ways To Make Xaldin Stab You

AN:

JK: ...The anagram was BIGRAX! Fer cryin' out loud! Only ONE person got it! Geez! Okay, rant over. Sorry people. I guess I wasn't specific enough. Well, on to Xaldin!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Xaldin Stab You With His Lances-

1. Super-glue his lances to the celing and blame Xigbar

2. Better yet, wait for him to fall asleep and then super-glue HIM to the celing

3. Replace his magazines with Larxene's magazines

4. Because of his dreads, call him a hippie

5. Cut off his dreadlocks

6. Cut off his sideburns

7. Refuse to call him anything else other then 'Jiriaya the Toad Sage'

8. Send the Beast a love letter and sign it with his name

9. Laugh at him for getting pwned by Belle

10. Insult his cooking when it's his turn to cook

11. When he does the laundry, ask Larxene if she knows where her frilly, lacey panties are while pointing at Xaldin

12. Sit back and watch the show while chanting 'Larxene! Larxene!'

13. Tell him Lexaeus is waiting in his room, then wink and nudge him

-Xaldin's Reaction-

In his fury, Xaldin stabbed the list taped to his door. He would kill whoever put this up. Stab and kill them.

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AN:

JK: Jiriaya the Toad Sage is a pervert from the _Naruto_ anime. I'm doing Vexy next!


	4. 13 Ways To Make Vexen Feel Disrespected

AN:

JK: Okay! Here's how to make Vexen feel disrespected!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Vexen Feel Disrespected-

1. Call him 'Grandpa'

2. When he's used to that, call him 'Grandma'

3. Braid his hair when he's trying to conduct an experiment

4. You'll need Zexion for this one. Have him distract him long enough for you to dye his chemicals different colors

5. Erase his equasions and replace them with silly phrases

6. Give the Replica sugar

7. Ask him his age, when he answers, gasp and hold your hand over your heart

8. When he's talking, listen to your iPod

9. When he's conducting an experiment, ask him for a hug. When he refuses, cry loudly and refuse to stop until he hugs you

10. Sing _Cold As Ice _by Foreigner loudly whenever he walks into a room

11. Say a cuss word in every sentence

12. Trash his lab, don't blame anyone, though. Just run for your life

13. In the rare occasions that he falls asleep, doodle on his face with a Sharpie

-Vexen's Reaction-

Vexen froze, looking at the list taped to his door. This was a whole new level of disrespect, and whoever taped it there was in for a long lecture that they'd never forget!

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AN:

JK: Vexy will really kill you if you try these, so try away!


	5. 13 Ways To Make Lexaeus Pound You

AN:

JK: Here's Lexy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Lexaeus Try To Pound You-

1. Comment that he looks like he's on steroids

2. Call him 'Arnold'

3. Point at his hair and ask him if he got in a fight with scizzors and lost

4. Steal his puzzels and replace them with children's puzzels

5. Ask him if he and Xaldin had fun, while winking and nudging him

6. When it's his turn to cook, ask if you can have another plate because someone barfed on yours (Credit to the Bill Waterson's comic strip, _Calvin and Hobbes_)

7. Tell him you know where he hides his steroids

8. Threaten to tell Man-cough!-Xemnas where they are

9. When he goes to re-hide them, yell 'Ah-HA! I KNEW you were on steroids!'

10. Run for your life

11. Cut out 'The Funnies' section of the newspaper

12. Replace his weights with Spongbob's stuffed animal weights (Credit to the TV show _Spongebob Squarepants_)

13. Call him weak

-Lexeaus's Reaction-

Lexaeus ripped the list in half in a rage. He was going to pound whoever was responsible for this!

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AN:

JK: I may actually update later today, actually. I'll be back with Zexy in no time! Try to leave a reveiw that'll cheer me up, though okay? JM and Shadow got in a fight. Until Zexy, JK, OUT!


	6. 13 Ways To Make Zexion Pissed

AN:

JK: Here's the emo kid! As promised, I updated on the same day! WHOOT! I'm on a roll! Oh, and yukisgrlfriend, you are the best friend ever! That huggle did the trick! (Huggles Back and hands cookie)

JM: HEY!! I thought I was your best friend!

JK: Oops. Uhm...(Runs)

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Zexion Hit You With His Lexicon-

1. Hug him

2. Sing _The_ _Emo Kid Song_ every time he walks into a room

3. Call him 'Sexy Zexy'

4. Steal his reading glasses

5. Pet him and call him a 'fuzzy wuzzy kitty'

6. Rip out the last page of the book he's reading so he won't finish it

7. Run for your life

8. Replace all his songs on his iPod with pop songs like _Barbie Girl_

9. Tell Vexen where he hid his report card from his high school days...(Inside joke)

10. When Vexen finds it, watch what happens

11. Leave sharp object lying around and leave notes on them saying things like 'I think you need this.'

12. Get Demyx and group hug him saying 'Cheer up, Emo Kid!' (Credit to whoever came up with the 'Cheer up, Emo Kid' thing)

13. Steal his Teddy Bear (Yet again, Inside joke)

-Zexion's Reaction-

Zexion squinted, pulled his reading glasses out of his pocket, and put them on. He skimmed through the list, then crushed it. Someone was gonna die. Someone was gonna-

"ZEXION!! You hid your senior report card in _The Outsiders_?!" Vexen yelled.

Shit. Revenge could wait. He needed to run now.

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AN:

JK: I'm aware that Zexion is maybe in his early 20's, but we just had this idea of him finding his old report cards and hiding them from Vexen. I'm feeling better, but I still could use some cheer-up reviews!


	7. 13 Ways To Make Saix Go Berserk

AN:

JK: I LOVE YOU GUYS!! (Hands all reviewers a cookie) I feel so much better!! Now, on to Sailor...erm...Saix

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Saix Go Berserk-

1. Call him 'Sailor Moon'

2. Better yet, call him a keebler elf or a smurf

3. Refuse to call him anything else other then one of the above

4. Poke his scar and say, 'X marks the spot!' (Thanks, BlackWerewolfDemon!)

5. Moon him (Thanks, Xinck13 and Xejicka!)

6. Run for it!!!

7. Call him a 'luna'tic (Thanks, Verycrazygirl!)

8. Wait for him to start drinking his coffee in the morning and then ask, 'Did you and Xemmy have fun last night?'

9. Use his claymore as an ironing board

10. Better yet, a surfboard

11. Steal his seat during the meetings so he can't sit next to his precious Xemmy-poo

12. Tell him really lame jokes and then laugh hysterically at them

13. When he goes Berserk, whack him on the head with Xemnas's newspaper and say, 'No! Bad doggie! Don't go Berserk!'

-Saix's Reaction-

Saix was sitting on his bed looking at Kingdom Hearts when he heard a knock on his door.

"Hello?" He stepped out, ready to beat the shit out of whoever disturbed him. Instead of finding a person, however, he saw a note taped to his door. He took it down and looked at it. "13 Ways To Make Saix Go Berserk...?" He muttered, skimming through the list. He crushed it when he was done. Someone would die. Someone would freaking die...

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AN:

JK: Heh, heh! I used a few of the reviewers ideas as another thank you! (Sends reviewers truckloads of cookies) I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Next is the pyro, got it memorized?


	8. 13 Ways To Make Axel Burn You

AN:

JK: Hey, people! Twice in one day! WHOOT! Okay, it's Axel's turn to get burned, got it memorized?

((Crickets Chirp))

JK: People, it's a joke.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Axel Light You On Fire-

1. Place a bucket of water above his bedroom door...

2. Pelt him with water balloons

3. Whenever he is bad, squirt him with a water gun and say, "Bad Pyro! That's a no-no!" (Thanks, xXNightmareGoddessXx!)

4. RUN!!!!!

5. Call him 'Reno' (Thanks, Xejicka!)

6. Refuse to call him anything BUT 'Reno'

7. Find a AkuRoku story on this site and leave it up on his computer

8. Get him in trouble at dinner. When you're washing the dishes with him, 'accidentally' splash him

9. Sing, _'Burn, baby, burn!'_ Whenever he walks into a room

10. Cut off Saix's hair with his chakram and tell him it was an 'Axeldent' (Get it? Axeldent, Accident? It's a pun, people)

11. When he runs down the hallway to escape Saix's wrath, yell 'Axeleration!!' (Get it? Axeleration? Acceleration? ((crickets chirp)) You people don't have a sense of humor)

12. Sneak up behind Xemnas during one of his 'Oh, my Kingdom Hearts' moments with a lighter. Set him on fire and run. He'll know who to blame

13. When he's no longer grounded, cut off HIS hair with his own chakrams

-Axel's Reaction-

Axel causually walked down the hall to his room and saw a note posted on his bedroom door. He took it down and skimmed through it. He then lit it on fire.

"Whoever put this up here will share the same fate..." He growled. "I _**REALLY**_ hate puns!"

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AN:

JK: WHOOT twice in one day, again! I'll try for Demyx, today, as well. Until the Melodious Nocture, bye-bye!


	9. 13 Ways To Make Demyx Cry

AN:

JK: WHOOT!! THREE TIMES IN ONE DAY!! SHE'S ON A ROLL PEOPLE!!

Demyx: You are?! (Looks in his chair) Oh, whoops. I'm on a muffin.

JK: ...Don't steal _Get Fuzzy_ jokes, dude.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Demyx Cry (Which I'd rather not do 'cause I loves the Demy-chan!)-

1. Threaten to tell Xemnas that he fled during his underworld mission (Thanks, BlackWerewolfDemon!)

2. Call him a crybaby

3. When he cries, say, 'See? I told you.'

4. Smash his sitar on his amp like a rockstar. When he screams, say in a smart-ass tone, 'Well, I couldn't lift the claymore!' (Thanks, xXNightmareGoddessXx! Though I changed it some...)

5. After he gets it repaired, replace it with a violin (Thanks, Zorfendor!)

6. Blame Axel

7. When he discovers it wasn't Axel, RUN FOR IT!!!

8. Light fire to his sitar and blame Axel yet again (An anonymous reviewer by the name of '?' left this, so thanks!)

9. Put a tack in his chair

10. Better yet, put whoopie cusions in everyone's chairs (Well, thrones) but his. They'll get the idea

11. Laugh at him while Xemnas yells at him

12. Whenever he plays his sitar, cover your ears and ask him, 'Who the hell is strangling a cat?!'

13. Every time he whines about going on a mission, say, 'Oh, cry me a river and suck it up, crybaby!'

-Demyx's Reaction-

Demyx strolled down the hallway in a relatively good mood. He stopped at his room when he saw something on the door.

"Huh? A letter...?" He took it down. " '13 Ways To Make Demyx Cry'?" He sniffled. "Why would anyone want that?" He read through the list and, upon finishing it, burst into tears. In the back of his head, though, he was thinking up horribly nasty things to do to this person. HORRIBLY nasty things.

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AN:

JK: AAAH!! NO!! Demy-chan is crying! NOOOO!! (Huggles the Demy-chan)

Demyx: (Sob) Wh-why w-w-would anyone...(Sob) want this?!

JK: (Snuggle)While I get him to stop, just click on that purple button, people! I'm going to have some difficulty with Luxord!


	10. 13 Ways To Make Luxord Duel You

AN:

JM: Well folks it is 4:00 in the morning and JK has brain freeze so since I'm up and have nothing better to do I'll do this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

-13 Way To Make Luxord Duel You To The Death-

1. Accuse him of cheating.

2. Replace all of his cards with Yu-GiOh cards (thanks for the idea imaginary chibi monkey!)

3. Whenever he walks into a room start talking in a British accent (thanks Zorf!)

4. Slip an extra ace in his pocket and then challenge him to a game of poker. Let him win and when he does pull the ace out of his pocket.

5. While he's sleeping glue his cards to the ceiling with gum and blame Demyx (that came from Bubblegum!)

6. Hang a British flag on his wall.

7. Challenge him to any card game but use your own cards instead of his. When you win yell "HA, I KNEW YOU R DECK WAS RIGGED!"

8. Shave off his beard while he's sleeping. When you pass him in the hall tell him that he finally looks like the rest of the Organization (thanks Xejicka!)

9. Call him a Heartless every time you lose (thanks BlackWerewolfDemon!)

10. Call him Lady Tusnade when he falls for a bluff.

11. Doodle on his cards with Sharpie.

12. Challenge him to an internet card game and whoop his ass because he doesn't know how to use the computer.

13. Replace his earrings with really girlish ones.

-Luxords Reaction-

Luxord was walking down the hallway shuffling his deck when he noticed a list taped to his door. He skimmed through it and when he was finished threw a bunch of cards at it. "When I find out who did this," he thought, "I'll challenge them to a card game where the loser dies."

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AN:

JM: Well that's it for Luxord. I'm going to bed and sleeping till noon. Oh and before I forget Lady Tsunade is a very bad gambler in the Naruto anime series. Next up is…(Train whistle goes off because if you can't guess you don't know Organization XIII very well.) Later.


	11. 13 Ways To Make Marluxia Angry

AN:

JK: No more suggestions, people! PLEASE!! Unless I ask! I knew what I was doing for Marluxia! I was just on vacation! JEEZ!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Marluxia Rid You Full Of Thorns-

1. Dye his hair black

2. Repeatedly watch _Little Shop Of Horrors_. Look at him strangly afterwards

3. Put a boom box behind his plants and play _Feed Me: Git It _from that same musical

4. Call him 'Seymour' and Larxene 'Audrey' whenever they're together

5. When he asks you to water his plants, pour gas on them and get some matches...

6. RUN!!!!!!

7. Paint his room black

8. Go to an anime convention cosplaying as him. Hit on every other O.13 cosplayer at the convention in his presence

9. Get a fake cell phone and say into it in his hearing, "Yeah. I can't believe a weirdo like Petal-Boy got such a freakin' awsome weapon! Why didn't Demyx get it?"

10. Call him 'Petal-Boy'

11. When he's used to that, call him 'Petal-Girl'

12. At ungodly hours of the night, dance into his room singing songs from _Little Shop Of Horrors_. _Feed Me: Get It_ is a plus

13. Hang a sign above his garden reading 'Mushnik's Flower Shop'

-Marluxia's Reaction-

Marluxia was stolling to his room. He noticed the note and took it down.

"...The hell?! _Little Shop Of Horrors_?! I hate that movie!"

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AN:

JK: Sheesh. I hate school. _Little Shop Of Horrors_ is a musical about a singing, man-eating plant, by the way.


	12. 13 Ways To Make Larxene Electrocute You

AN:

JK: WAAAH!!!! I got rejected from the school's musical for the third year in a row!!! T.T Oh, well. I'm taking it out on Larxene...

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Larxene Electrocute You -

1. Put a link on her computer to a MarVex pairing fan fic on this site

2. Better yet, a leomony rated 'M' Larxel story

3. Constantly tell her that her hair makes her resemble an insect

4. Steal her kunais and run around the castle screaming, "I'm a ninja! I'm a ninja!"

5. Put buckets of water above random doors in the castle that you know she'll walk under. Laugh as she short-circuits

6. RUN!!!!!

7. Ask Namine to raw a rather suggestive crack pairing picture of her and slide it under her door...

8. Call her 'Flick the Ant'

9. Watch and laugh your ass off as Demyx acually thinks you mean to flick her and does

10. Steal her cosmetics and hide them where she'll never think to look (coughcough underthebed! coughcough)

11. When she thinks to look under her bed and puts her lipstick on, scream in her ear when she's almost done

12. Try on her make-up

13. Follow her around the store saying, 'Obaa-saaaaan!! I want candy!!'

-Larxene's Reaction-

Larxene was walking away from a very electrified Roxas when she saw a note on her door. She took it down and read it, ridding full of kunais when she finished.

"Damnit! Whoever did this will pay!" Then she re-read nos. 1 and 2. "...What the hell is a MarVex pairing? And a Larxel?!" She got on her computer and looked it up on fanfiction. Shotly thereafter, a horrified scream ripped through the tranquillity of The Castle That Never Was.

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AN:

JK: Meh, heh, heh. 'Flick the Ant' is from 'Bug's Life'. One more chapter, than you get to find out who's been putting these notes on the doors! BTW, Obaa-san means 'Granma'.


	13. 13 Ways To Make Roxas Beat You Senseless

AN:

JK: To chainxofxmemories, who asked to make a series of one-shots, please don't. It's a good idea, but after that jackass mortmyre took one of my stories without permission, I've been iffy about things like this. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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-13 Ways To Make Roxas Beat The Shit Out Of You With His Keyblades -

1. Ask Vexen where he keeps the files on the recent health tests. When he replies, get the file on Roxas and find his height. Laugh at him

2. Call him 'Shrimp', 'Small Fry', 'Squirt', or 'Tough Guy'

3. Find a Roxime (Eh?) story on here and put a link to it on his computer

4. Better yet, a rated 'M' lemony AkuRoku

5. Trip over him at every oppertunity saying, "Oops! I didn't see you!'

6. Steal all of his C.D's and replace them with Jesse McCartney ones

7. Tell Xemnas, in his hearing, to cut Roxas's allowance to pay for the broken computer

8. Replace his hair gel with gum and blame Demyx (Read _Bubblegum! _to get the joke)

9. Doodle his name all over Axel's boxers in perminate marker and then pants him (Axel) in front of everyone

10. Laugh while Roxas chases Axel, who'll probably be trying to pull his pants back up at the same time

11. Repeatedly call him 'Sora' and ask why he's not with the duck with the speech inpediment and the retarded dog

12. RUN!!!!!!

13. Dig out mistletoe from the Christmas decorations and hang it above his door. Tell Axel he wanted to see him and then point at the mistleltoe

-Roxas's Reaction-

Roxas was just recovering from being zapped by Larxene when he saw a note on his door. He took it down, read it, and screamed in a fury.

"GAAH!!! Why do people always accuse me and Axel of being GAY!! EVERYONE knows he has the hots for Demyx!"

At that precice moment, a fireball hit Roxas from a very irate Axel.

"Damnit, Roxas," Axel yelled. "You know I hate puns!"

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AN:

JK: Once again,chainxofxmemories, I don't want you writing the one-shots. Besides, it wouldn't make sense if the character knew it was coming. Remember, the person responsible tapes the notes to their doors. Oh, well. Next chappie, you'll find out who's responable!


	14. The Last Chapter!

AN:

JK: Here it is, the last chapter!

My Readers: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (cries like the Demy-chan)

JK: Sorry, folks, but all good stories must end sometime. (hands all readers a pile of whatever they want for being such good readers!)

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the mystery writer. JM owns the other (you've probably figured it out by now)

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"And...DONE!" Kitchi exclaimed happily. "All thirteen are done! YAY!"

"Finally!" Mii commented from the couch. "You actually finished something!"

"What the hell, Mii?" Kitchi groaned. "It's not like we're going to be found out!"

"You should know by know to never say things like that, Kitten." Mii said, petting Kitchi on the head.

"You should know by now to NOT PET THE FREAKIN' KITTEN!"

"Sorry. But, still. Never say those words."

" 'Don't pet the freakin' Kitten' ?"

"No."

" 'It's not like we're going to be found out' ?"

"Yes!"

"But we aren't!" Kitchi whined. At that moment, every member of O.13 broke the door down to Kitchi's room, SEETHING.

"Number XIV, Number XV, we'd like to have a word with you about these ways to annoy us." Xemnas growled. "Remember what they said it'd make us do...?"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY THINGS LIKE THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-END!-

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AN:

JK: WHOOT! Done!

JM: What the hell? Why was I caught?

JK: You wrote chapter 10.

JM: Oh, yeah.

JK: Well, who saw that coming?

JM: You know you didn't.

JK: YES! It was I, KITCHI!

JM: And I, MII!!!

JK & JM: ...

JK: Okay.

JM: Sugar kicked in.

JK: Yeah. Well, until next fic,

JK & JM: BYE-BYE!


End file.
